we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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