just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
