I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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