her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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