Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize