weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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