You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Randomize