holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Terrible idea I love it
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
