My friends, they love my intelligence
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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