it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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