Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My life is pants optional.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
