I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
