you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
