Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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