Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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