my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So much Jack, so little girl.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
