Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Randomize
