hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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