Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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