The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize