What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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