its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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