the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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