Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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