He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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