Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
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It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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