Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
