first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
