apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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