How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
