we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
