even my farts smell like vagina
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
