Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
