Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
being pregnant is like rehab
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
