I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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