we're blogging at a bar
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
