she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
