just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
