U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
