I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
