that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
