FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize