it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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