dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize