I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
