fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
