We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
