The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
