dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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