He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
