the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize