Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
