hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
