Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
