I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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