Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
