She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
