but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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