I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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